Sikandar (2025) ⭐ 4.2
Sikandar: The Worst Movie of the Decade – Even Bullets Couldn’t Escape the Stupidity!
Bollywood has given us disasters before-Race 3, Radhe, Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan-but Sikandar is in a league of its own. If you thought Salman Khan had hit rock bottom, he just borrowed a JCB and started digging deeper.
Forget Avatar and Baahubali, Sikandar deserves an award for “Best Use of CGI to Make an Actor Look Younger (and Still Failing).” The VFX team worked overtime, yet Salman’s face keeps shifting between Maine Pyar Kiya and Madame Tussauds Wax Museum Reject. At times, his face looks so smooth you’d think it was buffed with sandpaper, and in other scenes, the CGI forgets to load, leaving us staring at a man who’s clearly lived through multiple decades but refuses to admit it.
And then there’s Mandharika, a heroine so young next to Salman that their romantic moments feel like a family-friendly festival ad gone horribly wrong. Every time she smiles at him, audiences expect her to say: “Papa, mujhe naye school bag chahiye!” (Dad, I want a new school bag!). Their chemistry is so awkward that even an arranged marriage couple meeting for the first time would look more convincing.
The action sequences deserve a separate obituary. If you love slow motion, this movie will be your personal torture chamber. Every punch takes so long to land that by the time Salman’s fist reaches the villain’s face, fuel prices have gone up again. The final fight is so slow that people went to the washroom, ordered food, and came back-all before the next frame loaded.
But the biggest highlight of this cinematic garbage fire? The bulletproof steel sheet scene. In one jaw-droppingly dumb moment, Salman hides behind a thin, flimsy tin roof sheet-the kind people use for cheap shop shutters-and somehow, BULLETS CAN’T PENETRATE IT. Yes, full-speed bullets fired by trained henchmen get stopped by a material that even a light breeze can shake. Apparently, this sheet is stronger than Captain America’s shield, and Salman hides behind it like a kid playing peekaboo. At this point, the audience had given up on physics, logic, and their will to live. If only they sold bulletproof helmets for people watching this movie.
The story itself is a medical science horror show. The plot revolves around organ donation, but the logic behind it is so mind-numbingly stupid that even a 5th grader would call it out. Salman’s wife donates her heart, lungs, and God knows what else, and magically, every single recipient shows up in the movie. The best part? The same doctor performs every transplant-heart, lungs, kidney, liver-he’s a one-man Apollo Hospital! One scene features a 30-year-old woman’s lungs being transplanted into a 9-year-old boy. How did they fit? Who cares! Apparently, Salman’s world operates on USB plug-and-play organ transplants.
And then, the dialogues. Oh, the dialogues! If bad writing was a crime, Sikandar’s script would get life imprisonment. Some absolute gems:
Villain: “Mujhe koi nahi hara sakta!” (No one can defeat me!)
Salman: “Jab tak Sikandar hai, tab tak zindagi ka calendar nahi badlega!” (As long as Sikandar is here, life’s calendar won’t change!) Calendar ka kya kasoor tha, bhai? (What did the poor calendar do to you?)
Mandharika (to Salman): “Mujhe tumse ishq ho gaya hai!” (I have fallen in love with you!) Audience reaction: “Didi, Rakhi ka festival toh August mein hota hai!” (Sister, Rakhi festival is in August!)
And just when you think this cinematic punishment is over, comes the climax. After two and a half hours of painfully slow action, cringeworthy dialogues, and science-defying nonsense, Salman faces off against the villain. We expect an epic conclusion. What do we get?
Salman forgives him.
YES. After all the build-up, the speeches, the bulletproof tin sheet stupidity, Salman just says: “Main tujhe maaf karta hoon.” (I forgive you.)
At this point, the villain himself looked confused-he probably felt cheated for even participating in this nonsense. Meanwhile, the audience was ready to riot. Even the Race 3 climax looked like The Dark Knight compared to this.
Final verdict? If Bollywood had an official “Worst Movie Ever” trophy, Sikandar would win in all categories. Compared to this, Radhe and Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan look like Oscar-winning films. If you love self-inflicted torture, go ahead and watch it. If not, run while you still can.
⭐ Rating: -5/5 stars (Extra negative points for making bullets look weaker than plastic spoons.)
